The Invisible Load of Motherhood: How the Fair Play System Helps Women Reclaim Time and Balance
Ever feel like you’re doing all the things—organizing school logistics, managing the meals, tracking birthdays, and somehow keeping the household from falling apart? But instead of feeling accomplished, you’re just…exhausted?
That’s what we call the invisible load of motherhood—the unpaid, often unacknowledged mental labor that disproportionately falls on women, especially mothers. And it’s a huge contributor to burnout and resentment in relationships.
What Is the Fair Play System?
The Fair Play system was created by Eve Rodsky to help couples more fairly divide household and parenting responsibilities. It goes beyond chore charts or checklists. It’s about creating a new shared language and a system of full ownership, so one person isn’t always the “default” for everything.
Fair Play introduces a card-deck model where each household task—like meal planning, birthday prep, or laundry—is assigned to a specific partner who handles the entire task from start to finish (not just the doing, but the planning and following through too).
It helps answer questions like:
Who’s thinking about what’s for dinner?
Who’s in charge of kids’ doctor appointments?
Why do I always have to ask for help?
Why It Matters for Your Mental Health
When I coach high-performing women, this topic comes up a lot. You’re competent, thoughtful, and deeply invested in your family—but you’re also tired, overstretched, and carrying way too much invisible labor. That’s not a personal failing. It’s a structural problem.
The Fair Play system names the problem and provides a path forward. It’s not about perfection—it’s about equity, clarity, and sustainability in your home life.
What Is Unicorn Space? and Why It Matters
One of my favorite concepts from Fair Play is something called Unicorn Space. It’s the time and permission to engage in your own passions—creative, intellectual, social, or spiritual pursuits that make you feel alive.
Not for productivity. Not for your resume. Just for you.
In a world that often expects women to pour into others until there’s nothing left, Unicorn Space is a radical—and essential—form of self-preservation.
Coaching Through Burnout and Mental Load
If this resonates, know you’re not alone. In fact, one of the most common moments I see in new coaching partnerships is this: I ask a client to tell me about their hobbies or passions, and I get a long pause… then a quiet, “I don’t even know anymore,” or “I don’t have time for hobbies… I’m just trying to keep everything together.”
That sense of disconnection from yourself is not a character flaw! It’s a sign that the system you're in isn’t working- for your energy, your identity, or your well-being.
That’s where tools like Fair Play come in. I often integrate its principles into coaching to help clients name the invisible load, shift unfair dynamics, and carve out time for their own joy, creativity, and rest.
Whether you're navigating decision fatigue, resentment, or just a general sense of "I’ve lost myself somewhere along the way," please know that you don’t have to do it all. It is 100% possible to create something more sustainable.
And the great news is, you don’t have to figure out a better way alone.
I encourage you to visit FairPlayLife.com to explore the system, or book a consult with me if you're curious about how coaching can help you reclaim your time, your energy, and your sense of self.
You deserve support. You deserve fairness. And yes, you deserve your Unicorn Space !
