Self-Care by Subtraction
“Self-Care” used to trigger me…..
Not too long ago, whenever I read or heard the phrase "self-care" I would get really annoyed. "Self-care" actually became kind of triggering.... I'd roll my eyes, think "whatever" and go about my busy life. It wasn't until I finally got curious about my reaction and looked a little deeper that I finally understood why self-care brought about an irrational anger inside me. 😬
For so long I thought that self-care meant doing something that I didn't have the time, money, or bandwidth to do. I mean, sure, who doesn't love getting a massage, or reading a non-work related book, or taking a yoga class. But with all the other stuff going on in my life, even getting my nails done felt stressful because I couldn't use my fingers to check email for an hour!!
Then I got curious…
And that's when I had an epiphany. I asked myself, how could self-care feel supportive to my needs, rather than irritating or out of reach? The answer was pretty simple. For me, self-care means anything that increases a sense of calm and decreases feelings of stress. It's anything that helps me feel like I am in control of my health and my happiness. I finally got it. 🎉
Self-Care by Subtraction
You see, contrary to popular belief, real self-care doesn’t involve time, money, or adding more to your already full plate. Real self-care is all about subtraction. It’s about letting go of the habits, thoughts, and relationships that are no longer serving you, to create space and open up bandwidth for feeling more calm and in control.
Some examples of what it looks like to practice “self-care by subtraction” include letting go of people-pleasing or perfectionistic tendencies, delegating tasks, saying no to requests that zap your energy, and learning to find comfort in stillness.
Releasing the things that no longer serve you can open up hours in your week. You’ll feel less stressed, more relaxed, and have the freedom to focus on what’s truly most important to you. Read on for three specific ways to integrate this new type of self-care into your life.
3 Ways to Practice Self-Care by Subtraction:
If you often find yourself saying “yes” or overcommitting, practice saying, “Let me think about that and get back to you tomorrow.” Give yourself 24 hours to respond.
Pick a task or chore that you can’t stand, set aside time to train someone else to do it, then delegate!
Automate things that are done regularly: Set up Instacart for groceries; keep a Google doc for travel packing lists; or arrange carpool for your kids.
In Conclusion….
Here's the truth: Self-care isn’t a hobby or a luxurious indulgence- it’s an essential life skill that can help you manage stress and prevent burnout. And turns out, we’ve been going about it all wrong.
Want help defining a doable self-care routine that doesn't require adding hours to your day OR feeling guilty about prioritizing yourself? Let's chat! Book a free Self-Care Strategy Session today!
